You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
