It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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