She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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