I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
