Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Randomize
