My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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