i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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