As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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