Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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