We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Your dad touched me again.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
