She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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