Kiss
Puke
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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