she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize