I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
