...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Randomize
