Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
birth control should be required to get into college
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
