She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Drunk is not a location!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I need to align my fucking chakras
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
