yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
