I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
