You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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