ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
