There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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