So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
