They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize