Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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