In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
