well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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