that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
