Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
