loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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