yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
