Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
