The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
