Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
