he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
