i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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