Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
