I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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