I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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