I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
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