my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Boobs speak an international language.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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