why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
