i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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