this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
