Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
