based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
