I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
