This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
