I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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