I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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