I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I will pee on everything he values.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
