There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
