Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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