party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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