Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
