The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
