Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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