Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
