idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
