dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She bit a glass in half.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
