On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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