Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
