I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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